Eucharisteo

I figured that after my miserable blog post last week that I should reassure you that I am not completely unhappy or jumping on a plane tomorrow to come home; although I am close to it. 

Construction of this ginormous garden is underway and it is starting to take shape. I have faced discouragement and many naysayers but through it all planting of the seeds should happen in a few weeks. The entire fence for the garden is up, cemented, and secured. We still have to buy the barbed wire that is going to go across the top but other than that it is up and functioning. There is still a lot that needs to be done but one teacher has stepped up to help me with as much as I need. We still need to put in the pipe and install the tap for the water, till the land, build more keyhole gardens, and plant the seeds. I am hoping that some crops start coming up before I leave. Many have told me that once I leave it is going to be destroyed and not maintained but I can’t continue with those thoughts. I have to live with the fact that I am trying my hardest to help this destitute school and have given them the means to better food; the rest of it is up to them to upkeep it. 

The fence is up!! 

What the beginning of a keyhole garden looks like

The gate to their new nutritional food!

I have been staying out in the bush more because I enjoy my weekends to myself; for the most part. It has its advantages and disadvantages. It gives me the chance to lay in bed watching movies and not do anything else. I can cook meals that I want to and have time to cook. Whoever said you get skinny in Africa has never lived here, trust me! Unless you starve yourself, you are not getting skinny. I can also workout more than what I have time to do on the weekends and just go for long walks through the middle of nowhere. Traveling 2 hours back and forth to Opuwo is getting very tiring and makes me car sick most of the time so the more I can avoid it the better. The downside is not having network and learners that STILL invade your space. 

My parents and I are working on a book called One Thousand Gifts. It is about living a life empty of yourself and full of God. The root idea of the book is the word Eucharisteo which broken down means Grace, Thankfulness and Joy. I have a huge chart in my house hanging in my room that has that word at the top. Each day I have to write at least one thing that I am thankful for, joyful of or where I received God’s grace. Believe it or not this has helped a lot. Knowing that even on my darkest and hardest days there are things to be grateful for helps so much. The encouragement and notes that people have sent from home have helped and are greatly appreciated. 

My chart that is hanging in my room. I add one thing each day. This is from a few weeks ago

When I am in on the weekends it has been fun to just sit and enjoy the company of my friends. Friends who have become more like family than anything else. They have become my saving graces and breaths of fresh air after hard weeks out in the bush. Leaving them when I go back to the states is going to be one of the hardest things. TK asked the other day how much they would need to pay me to stay haha. After these couple of weeks I will be taking a few personal days to go away with friends for a break before I break! 

This past weekend Mailin and I headed to Oshikati to meet some other volunteers for a July 4th celebration. Hamburgers, Red, White and Blue, and good American songs were all present. It wasn’t the same as spending the weekend bbqing out on the water but it definitely was close haha. It was nice to get to Oshikati and buy food that isn’t remotely available in Opuwo. Cheese, Special K cereal, Sugar Free rusks, just to name a few. 

Though I am having many hard times and struggles I am still trying to make the best of my time here. As my mom has always said, “God will give you a break when you need it. Not a minute before and not a minute after.” I have heard this my 15+ years of schooling and jobs and it has always rang true. 

Honestly...Life these days

Things have definitely had their ups and downs lately and I have definitely been one of the down things. Life here has been really rough lately and I have tried my very very hardest to remain positive but it is so hard when there is nothing that is encouraging that positive attitude. I have been staying out at my school more weekends to try to get more work done on the garden. These kids barely have food and I want to get them more nutrition soon. However, no one else seems to have that mind set. My hands have been  transformed from dainty girl hands to rough, calloused, blistering hands. The upside to all of this and a huge praise is that the poles for the garden are all in and cemented. Hopefully we will begin constructing the keyhole gardens this week and at least get a few things planted. I am eager to just see sprouts to reassure me that I am not doing all of this for nothing. I haven’t been homesick or wanting to come home this whole time I have been here but after these past few weeks I am ready to pack up my bags and go home to begin graduate school in the fall. Everything that could gone wrong or a problem could arise has. It started a few weeks ago when they were doing the budget. First, these people don’t understand finances nor priorities. DSTV was at the top of their list when the kids just received food this week. Which is a whole different story as well. Our learners haven’t had food at all until this week. We have been trying to collect money from the learners in order to go to Opuwo to buy the food. The government just delivered the food this week. We still don’t have school supplies. My kids don’t have pens or pencils. I don’t have paper to write on or to even make copies with and these people want to buy DSTV?! I had to type up and organize their budget as well as do the math. I thought I was only typing up the budget but I guess that there is some unspoken rule that whoever types it up is also responsible for buying everything on it. I have been used to do everything they don’t want to do. I have been in and out of town running errands, ordering supplies, making the garden, cleaning the office, typing up documents and the list goes on. This is on top of my teaching, lesson planning, and grading. I had to go to Opuwo to order supplies for them to fix the classrooms. I didn’t have a problem with this because I was going there to order things for the garden as well. The problems came when I brought the stuff to school. I knew what they needed and no one gave me guidance so I was left to make the decisions on my own. I asked for a few days what type of paint they wanted and no one gave me an answer so I just ordered creme because that is what they are right now. Well, I got cornered and yelled at for not getting the right color...because I can read minds, right? So I told them they could use it as a primer and get one color to do a top coat.  I put my foot down and said no to doing the exchange. I was also deemed responsible to buy all the school supplies in Oshikati, a couple hours away. I refused to do that. I was/am exhausted and feel like every step forward I take I am brought back a couple more. Till this day the supplies are still not bought. Surprised? I’m not. It has been a hard few weeks since being back and my patience is running out quickly!

I haven’t been homesick since getting here but lately it has really been kicking in and it is not something that goes away fast. Each day I have been spending more and more time talking to God because some days that is the only conversation I get besides teaching my learners. I can handle being out in the bush and not having any type of phone or internet service. I can get over the bucket baths and not having a stove. Those don’t bother me at all! But the way I have been treated, talked to and looked down at is what is getting to me. There is a line between culture and being rude and that line has been crossed numerous times. There is also a line between fulfilling a commitment and going insane. This is the decision I am facing right now. How much is too much and how much more can I take? I have been trying to convince myself that I am going to be better for this when I am done and that my learners need me to stay here. Honestly though, they care less about learning as well. So why am I really here? I would volunteer somewhere else in a heartbeat but this isn’t what I signed up to be. I have barely been teaching and no one could even care. In fact, one of my colleagues said that we need to work on focusing on sports because it isn’t like any of these learners are going to be doing anything with their lives. The inspector of our circuit also said that he doesn’t trust our school to function without the principal being here. Doesn’t that say so much about where I am? His worry is validated by the fact that on any given day there could be 1 to 2 teachers absent or leaving by break time. 

I have been looking at the feasibility of leaving and where I would go next. If things don’t change by August break I might be on a plane back to the United States with my brother and dad. In hopes that figuring out what I am doing next year will help me to feel like I am working towards something my parents and I have been making phone calls to different schools/jobs to see what would be the most beneficial. There are many choices, we just have to see what works out the best. Some options are: School in Argentina for the year, 6 months of school in the states then 6 months of school in Buenos Aires, Graduate School at University of Barcelona in Spain, or attending Grad School at Towson and living with my Grandma. 

Growing!

Construction of the garden has begun!!! There are going to be a couple different elements to this ginormous garden. The front of the garden will be dedicated to keyhole gardens. This is a fairly new idea on how to construct and maintain a garden. The keyhole gardens are built up in the shape of a circle. It is 2 meters in diameter and has a compost hole in the middle; this is where the hole is made. All of the crops can be accessed within arms reach. These gardens are perfect for rural, dry areas because they can be made with everything you find and do not use extra water to maintain the crops. We began clearing the land with shovels and rakes but have since asked the mine that is close to us to borrow one of their machines. If we were to clear this all by hand it would take ages for it to be finished. The school budget has approved the money that is going to be used for the garden and I am working towards approval of my funds. I am super excited to begin this as it means that the nutritional needs are my students will soon be met!!! I will continue updates as they come :) Below are a few pictures from the first day of clearing and marking

The Keyhole gardens are represented by the circles in the picture above. The rest of the area will be used to plant crops that you can not grow in the keyhole gardens. 

 

Full

Full

I’m BACK! After a full month off for vacation it is back to the grind. “Short” recap of break. The first couple of days I was in Windhoek with the rest of the group for a few brief meetings to mark our almost halfway point. It was nice to see everyone and hear all the stories they have from the first couple of months. After our meetings everyone went their separate travel ways and break had begun. I, however, stayed in Windhoek and enjoyed American things with my friend Ben for 2 days waiting till my mom came home. We got seafood/sushi, went to the mall, went to the MOVIE THEATERS, and I cooked in a real kitchen :). It was glorious. Mom and Krista arrived in the afternoon and after a tearful reunion we were off on our adventure. Adventure is a loose term when it came to what we experienced. Skydiving, camel back riding, shopping, so many types of meat, bumpy roads, beautiful waterfalls, village life, animals galore, flat tires, scrapes, bumps and tons of memories pretty much sums it up. The time for them to leave was closing and the tears and thoughts of separation were beginning to set in but the adventure didn’t stop. I booked a flight 2 days before and went to South Africa to visit family for a few days and saw Mom and Krista one more time before they headed back to the states. My 5 days in SA were wonderful and such a blessing to be able to spend time with my family, on this side of the World. I returned to Namibia to spend a couple more days in Windhoek and then back up North; which was a totally different experience. BUT back to the real reason for this blog.

As the goodbyes came and my time to go back to my “life” the emotions began to stir and I had mixed feelings of how this term is going to go. I stepped back and thought long and hard about what all has to be done and how I am feeling about it and came to the conclusion that my life is filled with amazing things happening. 

I am full of thankfulness because I had time off to spend with loved ones and see new places. 

I am full of gratefulness that my mom took time to buy things to help me out with staying in the bush and making my flat a home. 

I am full of love for my learners who are so eager to help and learn this term already. 

I am full of excitement as we begin to clear the land for the garden that will be built. 

I am full of amazement at the graciousness of people who have donated money to buy mattresses. 

I am full of gratitude 

I am full of anticipation to experience a lot of new cultural things this term (funerals and weddings mostly)

The list could go on and on but I think it can be summed up in one “full” sentence:

I am full of blessings that God has given me this year! and I continue to be shown these blessings each day through the hard times and good times. 

As Laura Story put it:

“What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near. What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?”

Time Flies When You Are Living In the....Bush?

So I realized I haven’t written much on my blog in a couple weeks and figured it was time to do so. HOLIDAY HAS BEGUN!! It is hard to think that our first term of teachers has passed. I have one exam left to grade and my reports to hand in and then I am officially FREE!!! I have learned a lot this term. A lot about myself, this country, the people I live with and how to survive in the bush! Yes, I have semi-mastered cooking on a hot plate. I use mastered as a very loose term as I have subjected myself to opening a can of beans and eating from the can for a meal. As holiday starts I am looking forward to having a break and eating some normal food. However, I am feeling this separation anxiety as I say goodbye to my house in the bush and in Opuwo. Foreshadowing of what is coming in December is not very nice. In order to not keep this post so long and boring to write I will make it into bullet points.

What I have learned:

• Namibia is a gorgeous country that I have quickly fallen in love with
• I am totally capable of sleeping on the ground with a blanket. Mailin and I are pros
• Sitting in the back of a bakkie (pick up truck) is the best way to see the country. Although not always the most comfortable but you make it work. Mailin and I have gotten some pretty Awesome tan lines.
• My learners do love me! They cheered when I came back from a day of being sick :D
• Colleagues are friends, family, and frustrating all in the same day.
• Opuwo is a breath of “fresh” air after a long week of school.
• Staying in the bush gets interesting... especially when your learners and colleagues throw dance parties. 
• You come to Africa thinking you are going to lose weight when in reality you gain so much!
• I am ok sitting in my flat by myself after teaching for a day. 
• Washing your clothes by hand can be pretty therapeutic. 
• My bathroom sink has become a kitchen sink and everything else that I need to wash in it. 
• There are so many different people living in the Kunene Region that I feel so at home in this melting pot of Kunene. 
• So many different ways to say no, I will not marry you nor have your caramel babies.
• Bush ain’t got nothing on me!
• Donkeys don’t like white people. My learners told me so.
• Cows and Goats outside my window love to greet me in the morning. 
• Always pack an extra pair of clothes... no matter where you are going.
• Be prepared to leave and travel to some remote village/area at the drop of a hat.
• EVERY PART of an animal can be made into some type of meal... even stomach lining.
• Friends become family to get you through the hard times and help you relieve stress.
• I can go more than a week without service to call, text or contact anyone. It is actually a really nice break :)
• If they don’t really care about something, you shouldn’t stress yourself out over it either. 
• If it crawls, KILL IT, there is a 50% chance that it is poisonous or will harm you in some way.
• Bucket bath is the next best thing to a shower. 
• Not showering for 3 days is normal.... Water goes out almost everyday. 
• Best thing to do when you don't understand; LAUGH. They will most likely laugh with you.
• Looking your best is overrated... you will always look like you just jumped out of the back of a moving truck. 

Believe it or not I will be missing this place over break and feeling a little sad that I will be separated from here for a month. But totally excited that my mom and Krista are here in ONE WEEK! Therefore I will not be taking time to update my blog at that point. They don’t know what they are in for. Could be interesting driving around Namibia where the roads are few and the dirt/bumps are plenty. 

Randomness

A lot of different things have been going on but nothing all at the same time. It is hard to categorize and sort out everything into different blog posts so I figured I would cheat and throw everything into one! Where to start is the question. 

Well, we had our site visits in this region with our Field Director from WorldTeach. He came and saw where we were living as well as talked with our Principals, Inspector, and observed our classes. They went fairly well and I think we all learned a little bit from them. We still have not yet received our first paychecks in this region which kind of stinks but things are slow here. Hopefully by next week they will be cut for us. 

My application for the grant money from the Embassy has been successfully submitted. I called Wednesday to check to see if they had received all of my paperwork and they confirmed they had. They will meet to discuss the applications in 2 weeks time. From there they are then brought to the Ambassador to be looked over and have suggestions made. We were told that we will find out mid April whether or not we will be approved. That is perfect timing because then we go on holiday and come back ready to get down and dirty; literally.

With that being said, our first term is coming to an end. We only have a couple weeks left and we will be finishing up term 1 out of 3. It is crazy how fast things have gone. I am a little nervous for the close of this term because our classes have changed again. When my director visited he informed the school that I was overloaded on classes; which I was definitely overwhelmed teaching all that I was teaching; especially Grade 5 English. We were having a big discussion that led no where on how we are supposed to change up our classes. I am still not sure. I am now teaching Grade 7 English, Math, Science, PE for grades 5-7 and B.I.S. for grades 5-7. B.I.S. stands for Basic Information Science. It is kind of like library science and teaching the kids about computers and things like that. Unfortunately, we don’t have computers so that won’t be an easy topic to teach. My school is just trying to keep me on my toes by changing up my classes every couple of weeks haha.

WIth the close of term 1 my mom and Krista come to visit! In between Term 1 and Term 2 we have about a month off to travel and relax. We have a conference in Windhoek at the end of April for a few days in order to talk about how our time is going and then we are released to do whatever we want to do. Mom and Krista are flying into Windhoek on the 29th and are staying for about 2 weeks. We haven’t really hammered down what we are doing yet but have our first 2 nights booked in a nice lodge in Windhoek. Mom is being a champ and doing all the research with Krista seeing as my internet is limited. I know that Etosha and Epupa Falls as well as where I live are on the list but beyond that I am not too sure what we are doing. Mom has gotten all of her shots and I believe Krista has also. ONE STEP CLOSER! It is hard to imagine that after 3 months I will be seeing my mom in about 1 months time. Man, how time flies... in a good way!

I have been so blessed by all the generous donations people have been handing to my parents! The project is close to being fully funded and will allow me to buy all of my students mattresses. It has been really encouraging to see children donating money from their piggy banks and report cards in order to buy these children mattresses to sleep on. I am currently working on trying to figure out how we are going to get the mattresses from Opuwo to Otwani but I am sure, like everything else, it will work out the best way possible.

Those are most of my updates for now. I am starting to get into a better routine of writing and answering emails. If anyone wants to email me they can send it to awillo1.ca@gmail.com. I only get to check it about 1 time a week but I dedicate a lot of my time on Friday afternoons to answer them. You guys are all 5 hours behind me (East Coast people) so you might even have an answer by the time you check your emails Friday morning. Love and Missing home but loving my new home here! 

If you plant it, it will grow!

Life here has gotten a little rough. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind and I have felt very overwhelmed and a little homesick. I know I am only feeling homesick because things have been getting a lot harder. As mentioned before they changed that classes, subjects and grades I am now teaching. Well, as of yesterday that changed again!! I am still teaching Grade 7 English, Science and Math and English 5 but they divided the English classes into 2 so now I am teaching double. There are 40 periods in a week and I teach about 35 of those periods which is a little overwhelming and I have a lot to catch up on. For Namibia their grading system is a little different and I need to make up for lost time with the grades for Science and English 5. Term 1 is almost over and I have to have my grades in in a couple of weeks. With that being said, I can’t believe Term 1 is almost over!! That means I am a third of the way into my time here. With the end of Term 1 comes a visit from my Mom and Krista. I am not too sure they know what they are getting themselves into ;). I am sure I will be posting about their time here. But before they come we do have a few breaks leading up to that. Next week we have Thursday off for Independence Day. Friday is a busy day for me though. I have a grant proposal due and my second teaching submission for my TEFL program. We also have a long break for Easter so we will be heading to Swakopmund to hang out at the beach and relax for a 4 day weekend. But before that happens I need to get a lot done and hopefully find out whether I will be approved for a grant or not. SO.. with that being said. 

I have been working very hard to put together a grant application for a program down here that awards money to people to work on community projects. It is called the Ambassador’s Self Help Grant. Awards can be upwards of $20,000 USD. In order to be considered there is a 5 page detailed application involved and you need quotes from vendors that you plan on using. I have been getting into Opuwo on the weekends to receive quotes from builders and people who will help with the garden. I have a contact in USAID, shout out to Mrs. Washington,  who has been such a blessing and has agreed to come visit my school in April to asses what needs to be done in order to plant the garden. My learners only receive, at the most, 2 meals a day that consists of just porridge. Many go hungry and are lacking very important nutritious needs. With the creation of this garden we will be able to give the learners at least one nutritional meal a day. If there is an abundance of crops we will be giving those to the local community with a focus on the children who are 5 and under and those who are directly affected by HIV/AIDS. I am praying that this grant gets approved. It would be such a blessing to my school. I will keep you updated on the progress of the application and approval.

The view of the school from the garden site

Future site of our garden!

The clinic that is waiting to be opened that will hopefully be supplying water for the garden

I am currently working on another project as well! A year isn’t that long to get things done so I am hoping to get a jump start on these. I have been working to raise money in order to buy mattresses for the learners at my school. The colder months are coming and I want them to be able to get off the ground when they sleep. There has been an overwhelming response and people have been more than generous. I can’t thank my coworker, Ahna, enough either for putting together an amazing flyer to put in places downtown in Patchogue. It really is amazing how blessed I am to know such amazing people. So far we have raised about $800 towards the mattresses. That is more than I ever was expecting. Thank you all so much for all that you have been doing!! My school is very appreciative of all that people have been doing!